Thursday, December 19, 2013

This Is My Life

Welcome to my territory.

I live alone now and as I suspected, I have begun talking to myself.
Amy had to go home for a bit to attend a wedding, so it's just been me and the cats. 

And the cockroaches.
Oh, and a mouse.
Hey, it's a party up in here!

My bathroom has been surprising me lately. This girl talks a lot about her bathroom, you say? I know. I'm appalled as well. Before Thailand, bathrooms were never a big deal. But now...

Ok, so a cockroach lives in my sink. He only comes out at night. And out of the kindness of his heart, he only sticks his antennae out at me. Either out of the overflow hole or sometimes out from under the rim of the sink. Just waving his little antennae at me, inches away. Same spot every night. Broadcasting who knows what.
Anyways, he has a buddy that lives on the door. So when I open the door, I hear an awful scuffling in the dark and I duck to make sure he doesn't get excited and fall on my head or anything. He's always shocked that I open the door, really he should know by now. Anyways, to remove this nightly scuffle, i've started leaving the door open. Also, breaking news. One of them now likes the soap.

The other day after service I was taking a much needed and relaxing shower when I happened to glance down and see something coming out of the drain. Something ALIVE. Things come out of the drain sometimes but this was the first time it had been alive. A long thin body eeked its way out... to my absolute horror I discovered it was a millipede. And it should have been drowning. (because my shower always floods, the drain is the worst drain in the world) But it wasn't! This little monster could breathe UNDERWATER. I couldn't help myself,  I had to watch his every move for the remainder of my no longer peaceful shower.

But what about that mouse?

I was cleaning the bathroom. I picked up the trash can and saw that a piece of trash had fallen on the ground behind it. Oh wait. That's not trash. That's a rat.
Shut the door. Think.

I have cats!! Yay!! I grabbed the nearest cat, shoved it in the bathroom and shut the door. I listened hopefully for the sounds of a live action Tom and Jerry play being reinacted in my home. But all was quiet. I opened the door. My dainty little girl looked up at me with wide eyes.
I put her almost on top of the mouse. Now keep in mind, this girl is a cockroach and lizard ASSASSIN. She leaves a trail of carnage behind her. So I could rightfully assume this was a good idea.
It wasn't. I removed her.
Thinking again. Grabbing tupperware and cutting board....
Yeah. I caught that ratmouse before it could run up my pants. (I have it on good authority that rats do this.) Then I sort of bleached the whole bathroom.

Text Messages

A Bible student cancelled a study because she was sick. She did it by text message. I understood the first part but had to Google the rest. This is the answer I got: "Sorry, I didn't go to work today. I have stomach ache for two days and plant diseases. See you next week!"
Plant diseases? Turns out she misspelled something like "i'm weak with hunger" and it quickly turned sour. I'm glad it was just a typo. Because I was momentarily starting to wonder just what kind of diseases a girl could get from the plants here.

But she's not the only one who can't spell! Another Bible student asked me to pick her up for meeting and I had to have Cut help me respond. So then I wrote, "Sure! Meet your butt later!" This is why you must double check. ALWAYS.
Study prep!

Last week I had to teach a Bible student about 1914, that segment in the back of the Bible Teach book, in Thai! And she had a question!! She did the math and ASKED, "Shouldn't the answer be 1913?" So then I had to explain the no zero year, and the fact that it happened in October of 607 so 1/4 of the year + 3/4 of the year in 1914...
In the end we all looked at each other like, "Well... that kinda makes sense. I guess." But chalk any of it making sense up to the holy spirit. A year ago, this girl was Buddhist. Then a foreigner wanders in and starts baby talking to her every week. Flash forward one year: she's dissecting Bible prophecy. Holy spirit.

Cut is doing amazing by the way. She's my REAL pioneer partner now!! She auxilliary pioneered right out of the pool practically. She was worried about meeting the hour requirement. But she beat it of course :)

You gotta try a witness parade one day. You MUST.

Some Convention Highlights
Experience: An ex-Olympian gymnast was interviewed! After he won the silver medal, he found the glory was short lived. Friends who used to support and flatter him, disappeared. Friends actually stole and sold his medals for alcohol! Two times he overdosed and have to be saved by doctors. He also spent four years in prison. Think about THAT, the next time you watch the Olympics!! Not such a great life for Olympians. All sacrifice before, all disappointment after. Of course now that he’s found the truth, he is happy. Now serving in Thailand.

Brother Noumair called this a family reunion of full-time servants and told us he was so glad we could spend this time together as a family. The governing body has respect for need greaters. We are the spark plugs of Southeast Asia. “You are the ones we need to keep strong,” he said. It’s a battlefield out there. No wonder we come home exhausted. It’s because we're fighting the teachings of the demons. 

GO outside and get a Bible study. The people will teach you the language. Every single person is your teacher.

The intellectual approach will not bring any people into the truth. Live the truth. Don’t be impatient. Show them you love the father. Let your eyes show that. I LOVE THE FATHER!! If you don’t show them, your studies will shut down. Brother Noumair admitted he shut many studies down this was when he was a missionary and he wished he knew then what he knows now. 

Never say “it seems right” and then point to a few isolated cases of when it worked. True story of a man with OCD who showered hundreds of times a day. He couldn’t take it anymore. He put a gun in his mouth and tried to commit suicide. Instead of dying, he shot out the portion of his brain that caused his disorder. He survived and went on to attend a university. But would you recommend “bullet therapy” as a solution for someone else??

About the new tracts! When we put a tract in their hand, Jehovah has just obligated that person to use their gift of free will. They must choose the world or the kingdom. You’ve done your job just by handing it to them. 
(Now after I hand them a tract, I whisper, “Choose wisely…”)

This little cutie took a seat next to me right as the program started. A sister had invited his family to attend the convention that morning at breakfast. He was the only one that came. He sat down next to me and said, "I want to learn about God!" I gave him the tracts which he immediately began using like a workbook, checking off his answer to the question on the front. I showed him god's name in the Bible but he knew it already. So I asked if he had any questions he wanted answered. He had 3 which he numbered for me:
1. When will I see you (yehova)?
2. When are you gotta destroyd Lucifer?
3. When am I got a go to heaven?

I did my best to answer them simply with a few scriptures. He couldn't stay long but before he left he got my email and a YPA book. He was only ten years old! Kids these days...

What am I looking at?

You may be asking yourself that question right now. I'll tell you. Asians are obsessed with being white. Maybe even more than we are obsessed with being tan. And their obsession is usually a bit safer than ours since it means they are incredibly careful about protecting themselves from the sun. However, some take the whitening thing too far. Here is one example.

This is for whitening your underarms.

Can you imagine?? Did you ever feel worried about the shade of your underarms? EVER? The commercials for it are preposterous too. It's always some perfect little girl riding the subway, too ashamed to raise her bedarkened arm to hold on to the rail... But she needn't worry. With a little help from some Extra Whitening Deodorant, she can transform from hideous monster into confident bleached she-hero in no time...

I only go on this rant because most of the labels on the deodorants are only in Thai, thus it takes me  f o r e v e r
to guess which one WON'T bleach my underarms. There are usually only a few! I REALLY don't want to accidentally buy this stuff. Anyways, thanks for making buying deodorant scary, Thailand.

Sarah and her sister Abby
Sez Kapow

Enjoy reading about Thailand? You should hear about life in CAMBODIA. And I know just the person you should hear about it from. Sarah! I heard about her blog from some friends. Became an instant fan. Then I actually got to meet her at convention this year! Let me just say, we've got some super fun people here in Southeast Asia. So what experiences can you expect from Sez? Well, how bout that time she got caught in a poop flood coming home from meeting? That's a good one. I only recently got caught in one of those myself. But i'll let her tell you about it. So check it out! It has cartoons!!

Serving in Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Pop Quiz: What do you do when your tire blows late at night? 

Find a mechanic? 
WRONG. All the ones nearby are closed. 

Ask that lady making fried hot dogs on the corner for help? 
WRONG. You don't know how to say tire. Or exploded. And your sad puppy dog face is questionable. 

Walk it home? 
Nuh-uh. Too far babycakes. 

Give up? I did too. Then I called a dear, DEAR brother and sister (Joe & Fa) who always bail me out of crisis situations. They came and told me that you can get a motorcycle taxi* guy to fix it! That's right. Those annoyingly everywhere taxi guys always honking and beeping and yelling, "TAXI! Taxi Madame!!" Well, normally I only shake my head "NO" at them but now I find out that they are my knights in shining armor. So for anyone who may drive a scooter in Thailand in the near future: A motorcycle taxi will either GRAB a mechanic and bring him back to you or fix a tire right there on the spot! That's what happened to me. Cost me $6. Not too bad.

* you can tell they're a motorcycle taxi if they have on a vest and helmet

OK I think that's about all for now, other than the fact that I just ate a pineapple so good it made me WEEP. Next up, I have my first international convention to look forward to! Mom and dad are coming to visit in about 10 days and we will begin a whirlwind tour of Thailand, pop over to Myanmar and then i'm homeward bound. Is this my life? It's hard to believe sometimes. Pretty hard to believe. 

Picture Time

Me, Carlee, Amy, Janelle: Joyous.

Shawn with his Bible student Roger at convention.
I always look forward to Roger's original and heartfelt comments at the meetings.

Carlee, Zina, Me, Cut, Amy: After Cut's Baptism!

Floating Market in Bangkok

All the power lines are this sketchy. And that electrical box was just open.

Only one more month in Thailand???? Sad but true.

Oh and Glen and Janelle made a video that everyone should see. I love them!! And the guy laughing like a maniac at the end? He's laughing at me. Because I just smashed my head into a TV. 
It's a long story. 

Just watch the video... 


Susanna Sansoucie said...

เลกซี่, ฉันรักทุกอย่างว่าคุณเขียน! มันทำให้ฉันหัวเราะมาก 555 ก็ทำให้ฉันอยากไปประเทศไทย�� ดิฉันชื่อซูซานนา มาจากมีซูรี่ในประเทศอเมริกา อ่านทุกบลอ็กของเธอจากเมื่อได้เริ่ม. ฉันชอบคนไทยมาก อยากช่วยพวกเขารู้จักพระยะโฮวาและความจริง. ดังนั้นแค่อยากจะบอกเธอขอบคุณมากๆสำหรับการเป็นตัวอย่างที่ดี!!

Shawn said...

No, Lexi, you can't leave Thailand! How will I get my funny stories from there? I'm living vicariously through you. Kudos, by the way, on learning Thai; I can only imagine how hard that must be!

jeff & carlee said...

Another great post! I'm glad all those bathroom critters waited for me to leave before coming out to play... They must have known you would be lonely. ;)

PS.... Thailand is really going to miss you... And you are REALLY going to miss thailand. Jing jing.